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Why are you Bullying Me? (Post #2)

Updated: Sep 2, 2020

Yes I know, my last post was about bullying and sharing pertinent excerpts from my YA fiction “If Only…” I feel the need to add a few words in a follow up post because the subject of bullying continuously gnaws at me. I can’t understand or most probably don’t want to understand why kids, teens, adults or anyone for that matter, indulge in bullying. Am I missing something? Is there some sort of pleasure derived from bullying? I’m sure psychologists can offer many explanations for this type of behavior. I’m not a psychologist, just writing this post as someone who cares about people and as you can see from my books, I especially care for children and teens.

I admit, I might be overly sensitive, but I cringe at any form of bullying whether it be physical, verbal or digital. When someone doesn’t speak kindly and respectfully to someone in the service sector, e.g. a housekeeper, a caregiver, a mechanic etc., this too is a form of bullying.

My previous post on bullying depicted bullying by parents, teachers, teens and boyfriends as illustrated in my book If Only…” There are so many variations on this theme. We have to be aware of the different nuances bullying can portray. Lisa, (the protagonist in my YA fiction “If Only…”) experienced bullying many times throughout the story. If she was my daughter, I would say something like this, “If someone chooses to bully you, I’m guessing they have serious issues to deal with in their own lives.” My comment does not actually help Lisa in real time, but hopefully it gives her a different perspective.

In a perfect world, wouldn’t it be great if we could defuse the bully before they spurt out the bullying? It seems so simple to just take a deep breath and think a moment about the person we are bullying. How does that kid feel? How does that parent feel? How does that friend feel? The list goes on and on. But I know, it’s not so simple. There are many factors and circumstances that influence the bully to behave as they do. But maybe, sometimes, that deep breath before the spurt and a touch of concern for that person, whoever they may be, might prevent a hurtful situation. And then the victim won’t have to say or think, “Why are you bullying me?”

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